My weekend and some more updates

Ok,

so since I was in a bit of a funk the other day, I didn't get to go into a lot of detail about my weekend, which I would like to do now.

As I said, I had an incredible weekend and spent time with incredible people, one in particular. Her name is Rebecca and she's from the Chicagoland area. I've known her for a year and only recently did we grow closer.

She came to visit for the 4th of July and I can honestly say I had one of the best weekends of my life with her. I don't want to go into too much depth. I just want to say that I've met someone incredible and I'm very excited to see where this goes. I really wasn't looking for anyone or anything, and that is when it always seems to happen. She's incredibly comfortable with herself, with me, and SUPPORTIVE of me and who I am and this transition. And that is exactly what I need. I'm living proof that when one door closes, another opens. It all goes just the way it is supposed to. I strongly believe that everything happens for a reason.

I went to therapy last night and I'm starting to figure my stuff out slowly. I have started to semi-develop a plan so thats good. I think I may be heading to law school in the next year or so, which means it's time to get my ass in gear for the LSAT exam. So, I think for the time being I'll stay put in LA while studying for that and planning the rest out. I also don't want to uproot myself while still transitioning at this point. I like my "team", if you will. They are incredibly important to me.

Thank you to those of you who commented with some advice. It was much needed and I did listen. I'm trying to relax,journal, dream, and take it one step at a time.

It's so easy to get all caught up in the anxiety and the questions about what to do and how to do it. But I need to give myself more credit and have more faith in the universe and trust that everything will fall into place.

Overall, things at work are getting better. People are making the effort to use male pronouns and I call them out on it to help them. It's nice not to have to worry about my transition at work now. Being comfortable has allowed me to increase my dosage of testosterone as well so that should speed up the overall process.

I'm already exhibiting more signs. I have more facial hair, more chest hair, my voice is cracking A LOT lately. Although it's an intense process to go through, it feels totally "normal" and "natural" to me overall. Like, I'm just going through puberty to become who I've been meant to be my whole life. That part of it feels good. I've been passing as a man for the most part in my day to day life which is also great.

Emotionally though, I've had a very tough week. My most recent dose of t was on Monday and since then I've felt a surge of random emotions throughout the week. Although I have been having issues that are legit, the t has amplified my reactions to everything, which hasn't exactly been helping. But, I'm hoping increasing my dose will help speed things up and may possibly help me get off the rollercoaster I'm on. My body literally starts to crave the testosterone after a week or so, it's so weird.

My mom is going to be coming to LA in 3 weeks or so to help me find an apartment. I'm nervous about how she is going to react to me because I think I look significantly different than I used to. Should be interesting....I'll be sure to blog on that when it occurs.

That's about it for now.