busy busy busy

My LSAT exam is one month away! That is crazy! I have been studying a lot for this exam and I have a lot riding on it.

That said, I'm sorry I haven't been better about blogging. As soon as this exam is over, I hope to be back on track. For the time being though, I am aiming to update my blog once a week.

This week I'm feeling very crabby. I had to skip my t shot for the week because my doctor wants my blood drawn, and he wants to see what my testosterone level is at without my next injection. I am feeling withdrawals from it and it's making me a cranker pants!

I'm having my blood drawn tomorrow though, so after that, I should be feeling better :) I'm nervous to go and have my blood drawn though because I'm going to have to explain that I'm trans. I have to explain it usually because I have to fill out the forms to bill my medical insurance and according to my insurance I am still female. That really bothers me and I wish I could change that stuff already, but I have to wait to legally change my sex until I've had a surgery of some sort, and that won't be happening for at least another 6 months.


When I do get to do my shot tomorrow, my dose has gone up. I will be injecting myself with 1cc of t, but I will only be doing that every three weeks. And, I will be using a half tube of the testim gel daily. The gel has really been helping level me out. When I wasn't using the gel and just injecting myself weekly, I would feel a surge of energy and goodness at the beginning of each week, and then it would level off and have me feeling kind of crappy towards the end of the week. So, the gel kind of helps me stay more even keeled and it's nice.

My facial hair is coming in thicker around my chin, but not necessarily thicker around my whole face so thats kind of irritating. I mean I sport a pretty nice 5 o clock shadow, but I would like it to come in evenly. Doctor says that should be happening soon, especially because my dose is increasing.

My body seems like it is changing shape some more also. I just feel like my pants sit differently around my waist. I don't know how else to describe it.

I'm still binding everyday, which can get irritating, but its necessary if I want to pass so I just suck up and deal.

I saw a school psychologist last week and was tested for learning disabilities. It turns out I actually have one, and its directly related to math, which has always been and continues to be my worst subject. So, in some ways I feel better knowing that there is a rational, logical reason I always did so poorly and struggled in math.

My mother and some of my close friends are still struggling to call me "He". And now that I wear a 5 o clock shadow on my face pretty much everyday, now its become really embarrassing to be referred to as a "She". My mom did it yesterday while we were shopping in the mens section of a store, and the clerk looked at her like she was senile. I laughed, but at the same time, I just wish she could get it right. Some days she tries, but most days I feel like she is still fighting against me.

Those are the updates for now. I will try to post a talking video later!