The holidays

I am celebrating my first Channukah and Christmas as a man. I feel much more at ease with who I am, how I present myself, and overall, a chip has been lifted off of my shoulders.

It's nice to be around friends and family who accept me for who I am and what I am about. It's refreshing that people can still see me for who I am and what I'm about, regardless of the transition. I'm very thankful for that.

People lose their homes, their families, their friends, their jobs. I haven't really lost any of these. I haven't had anyone who stopped speaking to me (other than my mother, for a few months, but now we speak). Overall, people weren't shocked or surprised to hear I was transitioning. I've been able to keep my close friends and to make new ones. I am able to seek and keep employment and I even came out on the job at my last job.

I will admit though, that this holiday season is new for me in other ways also. It is my first holiday season being single in 10+ years. I've always had a girlfriend during these times so this is new. It's kind of lonely as I'm just getting used to being single again, but it's also good. It's nice not having to run around to a million places to see two or more families and friends. I'm on my own schedule and I can adhere to my own agenda.

In terms of the transition itself, I am going through another big drop in my voice I think. The last time I could tell my voice dropped significantly, I had a few weeks where I couldn't really sing and I was cracking all over the place. The same thing is happening again. I am not able to sing as well as I'd like to and I am cracking a lot. I've got a lot more muscle spasms happening now too, and I think this is because I am working out.

I just had my t shot tuesday so my moods are a bit better. They are usually pretty good for the first week after my t shot. Then they start to go up and down a little more.

Those are the updates for now.

Happy holidays everyone!