That thing called family

We all have a thing we call family. Mine happens to be driving me nuts right now.

I'm referring to my aunt and uncle, and one of their kids, my cousin Staci, who is getting married.

There's a big hooplah in my family whenever anyone is getting married because it then comes to deciding who is standing up in the wedding. My cousin Staci stood up in my sister's wedding so naturally, my sister and I both expected to stand up in her wedding.

Well, that is not going to be the case, for several reasons, and I'm ticked about it.

First of all, I think we aren't getting asked to stand up in Staci's wedding because we aren't skinny mini people, like the rest of the people standing up. Second, I know I am specifically not being asked to stand up in the wedding, because I requested to be a groomsman and not a bridesmaid.


I came out to my cousin shortly before she got engaged. And after she got engaged she felt it necessary to tell me that she hadn't decided who would be standing up in her wedding yet, but that she totally loved me and accepted me for who I am and wanted me to know that. I appreciated the gesture but I knew that she didn't fully accept me. When we talked about the possibility of me standing up in her wedding, I tried to explain to her that I walk, talk, and in fact, I am a man now. I had to explain this to her because it had been a while since she had seen me. I don't think it registered because after I explained that and told her I'd want to be treated like a man would in terms of the wedding plans, she asked if I would still be attending her bridal shower, which would consist of all women. I explained that I would not be attending her bridal shower because men didn't attend those.

I'm sure she's trying in her own way to accept me, to understand me, but it's just not cutting it.

Furthermore, when my sister and I found out we would not be standing up in the wedding, we were also informed that my aunt and uncle were "adamantly" opposed to me standing up as a groomsman and that just really pissed me off. If I were going to be standing up in the wedding according to them, it would have to be as a bridesmaid, and that is just not going to happen.

They have all seen me since I've started transitioning, as recently as a month ago. So, I cannot understand why they are so opposed. I mean, I get why they are. They care what people think, what they'll say, I really believe that is the main motivation. But what would they be thinking if I showed up to a bridal shower or as a bridesmaid? People would do a lot more talking about a man in any of those two things.

So, as I said before, I'm just sort of ticked off about all of this. I want to be loved and accepted for who I am, and the harsh reality is that that is not always going to happen the way I envision it. Lesson learned.