Monday, May 18, 2009

Some updates

Ok, it's been a while since I've blogged. So, I have some updates.

1. So, Jordyn told her family we were dating. They didn't respond well at all, to say the least. Her mom called me all sorts of names (freak,abnormal,etc, and claims not to know who her daughter is. Furthermore, her family suggest that I brainwashed her. Needless to say, this has been very hard for us to deal with.
We both thought her sister and her mother would be very understanding and happy for us, but we were very wrong. And I think part of dealing with their reaction is so hard just because we didn't see it coming, at all.
It's obviously going to take a lot of time for them to process and hopefully accept me and us as a couple. I really hope they come around, especially for Jordyn's sake. I would say she is fairly close to both her mother and her sister, and these kinds of reactions are hurting her relationship with both of them.
It feels awful to be judged by two people who don't know me at all, and to be judged so harshly. I know, without a doubt, that if Jordyn's mom didn't know I was trans, she would think I was the perfect Jewish boy for her daughter. The whole thing just makes me so angry and so livid. But, I try not to focus on the anger. I try to just focus on giving Jordyn the support she needs and having her feel safe and secure. She's been handling it incredibly well. She hasn't allowed her family's reaction to influence how she feels toward me at all. She has reached out for support and has even gone to a PFLAG meeting by herself. (Parents and Friends of GLBT people, support group) She's so brave. I just feel bad because she shouldn't have to go through all of this when she's not even the one who is trans! It's like she is coming out and having to deal with all of the coming out issues. It's not fair, it's really not, but she just continues to take everything in and to deal with it as it comes. She's amazing and strong. Thank goodness for that.

2. Jordyn came to surprise me in LA two weekends ago. She planned the whole thing with my roommate/best friend and she showed up at my work!! It was awesome. We had an awesome weekend together, and it was very good timing because Jordyn needed to be away from her family for a little while and we needed each other's support and to just spend some quality time together.

3. I went to the family wedding this past weekend. Overall, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. People were surprised, but overall, I wouldn't say that anyone had a very negative or hateful reaction at all. I was able to dance, socialize, and have a decent time. My mom even introduced me as her son, which was a HUGE step for her. I got to see my niece and nephew, my sister, and spend some time with them. That was also nice. My niece is 2 and my nephew is 5. They are lots of fun! I also got to catch up with some sort of distant family members. A few chatted with me and told me they had been reading my blog, which meant a lot to me. They were incredibly supportive.

4. I went to the doctor and found out I need to have a mammogram. I'm definitely nervous about it. I'm nervous to get the results and I'm nervous to even have it done. I have to go to like a Womens center of some sort. My doctor says men have mammograms there also, but I doubt there are many transmen who go in. I really wish there was access to safer healthcare for trans people...so yeah, I need to get that done. I also had my t levels checked and they are great, which I am happy about. So, my dose will stay the same as it has been. I inject myself once every three weeks and I use Testim gel everyday.

Those are the updates in a nutshell. I'm working and busy as always. Life is probably the best it has been for me in a while. I have a steady job, a comfortable place to live, a girlfriend who I adore,friends, and some family that I can go to for support. I'm finally living the life I've wanted to live for years and I'm living for me, not for others. It's very freeing.