Life and more life

So,


I didn't end up going home for the funeral for David because it was on such short notice and I just started my new job, but it looks like I'm going to home in two weeks for just a weekend. I'll be able to face my mom in person and see if we can come to some sort of resolution on everything she has said and done to me.

We are still talking every other day or so, but mostly I just check in with her to see how she's doing. She's having a pretty hard time and even though she can never show e the empathy and sympathy I need and want, somehow I still find it in me to show it to her. I just think what she is dealing with is terrible and I don't want t compromise myself and my values by treating her as shitty as she treated me.

Other than that, I'm still taking the hormones and my voice dropped a little more significantly this week. I'm starting to crack and be awkward, and I can feel my body changing more and more. Each day I really do feel like I look less and less feminine.

Also, my article was published in a magazine called IN LA MAGAZINE. If you are in the Los Angeles area, pick up a copy wherever. I believe they are free. If you are not in Los Angeles, the article can be viewed online at www.inlamagazine.com. It should be up online by next week.

Here's my new VLOG. Hope everyone is well.

My life=lifetime movie

So,

some more major updates that I didn't need added to my lifetime movie of a life. My mom's boyfriend of 10+ years died suddenly last week Monday. He was only 50 and he had a massive heart attack that killed him. He was a really great guy who was good to my mom and I was very sad to receive this news.
My mom called me to tell me herself and she just sort of acted like she and I were fine. She told me how much she loved me and how proud of me she was that I got a job at a law firm. We definitely need to discuss my gender/transition though because I did not take what she said to me lightly. I know death can bring to light so many of the important things in life and I'm glad my mom is speaking to me, but there is a lot to resolve and I just don't know how to go about resolving it. I didn't end up going home for the funeral because my mom preferred that I come in at a later time (if at all, in my opinion). It's not that I don't want to be there to comfort her, I just can't keep sacrificing my needs in the process, and I need some kind of resolve on what has happened between us. We don't speak for well over a month and then suddenly a tragedy occurs and she thinks all is well between us.

So, I've been obviously dealing a lot with that issue in itself, grieving in my own way, still working at a new job, and transitioning. It's a lot. I'm a tough cookie, and its a lot for me.

So, theres my mini update for now. I plan to post a video this weekend.

Hope all is well out there for the rest of you.

Me singing

A lot of people who know me know that I like to sing. Well, I thought I'd post a video of me singing one of my favorite songs. I'm starting to hit lower notes that I've never been able to hit. So, here's the video. Enjoy!

Transitioning on the job....

So,

I started my new job this week. So far, I like it a lot. It is at a major law firm in downtown Los Angeles. I'm working in the accounting department.

The issue I'm having is an interesting one though. They are so nice at this law firm, and so in favor of diversity, that everyone is going out of their way to be SUPER nice to me...like in this way that says, "WE LOVE GAY PEOPLE JAMIE. AND WE KNOW YOU ARE A BUTCH GIRL AND WE ACCEPT YOU" kind of way...its almost funny actually lol. I can very easily be mistaken for a boy (which is obviously what I want), but since I've been hired as a female, its interesting to see how hard people are working to make it known to everyone that I'm female...

So, now that I'm going to be showing more signs of transitioning, I don't know how exactly I'm going to "come out". I don't want to jeopardize my job, and it shouldn't be an issue, but we all know sometimes how things go.

I feel like some of my co workers are fine with me being gay, but they wouldn't be so fine seeing me transition from female to male.

I'm just going to continue to take it day by day. That's all I really know how to do.

In other news, I just wrote an article for IN Magazine in Los Angeles about my transition. It will be published in the PRIDE issue in a week or two, so keep an eye out for that!

I've been MIA!!

So sorry for the long delay and not getting to blog for a little while. I've had a couple things going on.

I've been working over 50+ hours a week. I also was getting ready to move into my best friend's living room now that I have been cut off by my mother. My girlfriend was also in town helping me move and getting situated in my new temporary home.

I am happy to say I am now officially moved into my new home and starting a new job tomorrow!! I got the job I had interviewed for a few weeks ago at a law firm in Downtown L.A. I'm excited, but also nervous. It will be great to have a permanent position vs. a temporary position though, and that will help me get back on my feet.

My transition is still going well so far. I have started to get a few pimples on my face and back, which I don't love, but so far its managable. When it turns into full blown acne, we may have a problem then!

I have decided to delay my T shots a little though because of the new job. They interviewed me as a female, and because of that, I want to be able to start the job and feel it out before I start to show any more signs of transitioning.

Those are my small life updates for now. I'll be sure to let you know how my first day on the job goes!