Tuesday, February 17, 2009

My first FTM meeting

This past weekend I went to a support group for FTM (female to male) men. And it was great. It was my first time really being a part of a group of trans guys. I'm sorry that I waited so long to reach out for support. It was great just to be in the presence of other transmen. It made me feel a sense of community, belonging. The group had two parts. The first part was open to FTMs and their friends, family, partners, support, etc. And the second half we split up so that one group was just the FTMs and the other group was for everyone else. I benefitted from both. It was nice to see people have support at all. Some people had friends, even parents in attendance. And I was surprised that a lot of people also had romantic partners. I've heard so often that it is hard for transmen to find people to date and that was definitely not the case with the people I met.
I really liked when the group split up though and we could talk about issues that transmen face such as side effects of testosterone, finding doctors, dealing with people when you ask them to switch pronouns and use He instead of She. There were a lot of different perspectives on each issue and that was also helpful. Some people at the meeting recognized me from the articles I've written as well as my blog. So people do actually pay attention and read this thing which I'm glad to hear.
Overall I had a good time and made some new friends both trans and non trans.
Other than that, I am now a full-time adult with a full time job which means I'm tired, a lot. The doctor says I need to be sleeping more than 8 hours a night because my body needs it a lot more now that I'm going through puberty again. He explained to me that that was why I was probably tired a lot as a teenager as well. Our bodies need more sleep during puberty. No wonder. I'm also trying to meet my protein goal each day which isn't happening either. I'm supposed to eat 120 grams of protein a day and that's hard to do. When I do come close to hitting that, it's because I've had several protein shakes in a day. And drinking those gets boring very quickly.
The hair on my face seems to be growing thicker now, but I'm still struggling with my sideburns. They grow but they don't grow in fully the way I'd like them to. I'm hoping that starts to happen soon.
Two of my very best friends are coming to visit this week and next week and I'm excited and nervous to see them. They haven't seen me since I even started transitioning. So I'm sure there will be some shock to deal with there, nothing bad. But I want to see how they react and what they think once they do see me. They'll have honest and good input I think.
Valentine's day was this past weekend and that was also kind of rough. Another one of the holidays that I hadn't celebrated alone in over a decade. It was interesting. I partied with my friends and went out dancing and what not. I went to a gay club and ran into Perez Hilton and Janice Dickenson. That was interesting. So weird to go to a club and run into celebrities like that. I had an ok time. It was mostly a gay guy club with few women. I blended right in. I found myself checking some guys out but I'm still confused about my attraction to them. Sometimes I feel like I'm looking at them because I'd like to look like them and other times I'm not sure. That's still a work in progress. I'm still attracted to women, that hasn't changed at least.

Those are my major updates for now. Remember to send me any questions, comments, feedback. That stuff is always appreciated.

Thanks!

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

that's A LOT of protein! If you like peanut butter, a jar a day would just about do it. Good luck with that!

Anonymous said...

That support group sounds really helpful, it's cool that that resource is available to you.

Regarding the protein, cottage cheese is a decent source, so in case you get sick of choking down hamburgers and scrambled eggs, you might try that.

Anonymous said...

Must be really good to have a support group like that. I'm also a transman, but i'm from Brazil (more specificly, from Rio de Janeiro), and here there is no support group like that, the best we have is a comunnity on orkut, and we meet eventually, but nothing compared to what you have there! Here the subject (transexualism) is not really openly known, specially FTM's... MTF's are more known, although they often are put in the same category as transvesti or gay people...
We still have a looooong way to run...
Anyway... congratulations on your first meeting!

P.S.: Why haven't you uppdated your youtube videos?

alpagatado said...

You are a very handsome man!
I just wish a lot of luck with your transitioning.
You look so good with the goatee!
Way to go, man !!!

Anonymous said...

I'm happy for you, glad that you get support from those at the group.

That really is alot of protein though, lol. I can't imagine where I'd get that amount from; especially as I'm allergic to peanuts lol.

I'm a transman myself and am finding it quite difficult because of my cultural background and age. Stumbled across your blog looking for somewhere to post a blog of my own lol. Could really do with some advice, feel free to email me
DaNG3R0US@live.co.uk

Sorry if I messed up your vibe. Congratts again

Names R3CKL355 by the way