So,
some more major updates that I didn't need added to my lifetime movie of a life. My mom's boyfriend of 10+ years died suddenly last week Monday. He was only 50 and he had a massive heart attack that killed him. He was a really great guy who was good to my mom and I was very sad to receive this news.
My mom called me to tell me herself and she just sort of acted like she and I were fine. She told me how much she loved me and how proud of me she was that I got a job at a law firm. We definitely need to discuss my gender/transition though because I did not take what she said to me lightly. I know death can bring to light so many of the important things in life and I'm glad my mom is speaking to me, but there is a lot to resolve and I just don't know how to go about resolving it. I didn't end up going home for the funeral because my mom preferred that I come in at a later time (if at all, in my opinion). It's not that I don't want to be there to comfort her, I just can't keep sacrificing my needs in the process, and I need some kind of resolve on what has happened between us. We don't speak for well over a month and then suddenly a tragedy occurs and she thinks all is well between us.
So, I've been obviously dealing a lot with that issue in itself, grieving in my own way, still working at a new job, and transitioning. It's a lot. I'm a tough cookie, and its a lot for me.
So, theres my mini update for now. I plan to post a video this weekend.
Hope all is well out there for the rest of you.
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3 comments:
thanks for posting. stay brave.
Thanks for posting ... I'll be sending good thoughts your way!
I'm really proud of your mature response to such a tragic situation. I think a lot of (less incredible) people in a similar situation would either (a) lash out at mom for expecting everything to be okay after she disowned them, or (b) fallen into the trap of truly believing that everything was okay just because they wanted it to be, thus leaving them more susceptible to heartache when the truth comes out that mom's attitude hasn't changed. But you chose the high ground. You were able to talk to your mom in her moment of grief, while at the same time making a commitment to continue confronting your issue with her at a later date. I am truly impressed. It takes a strong man to respond like that.
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