Monday, June 30, 2008

I came out at work!

I'm happy to report that I came out at work today and it was totally unexpected.

I was waiting for my instincts to tell me how and when to tell my co-workers and today the perfect opportunity presented itself. I have a semi-gay co-worker (as he calls himself). He was talking about his issues with being gay and why it's uncomfortable and how he feels about it, and it became kind of a counseling session with the whole office chiming in. And everyone was supportive. Not one person had anything negative to say in any way about being gay. They were all voicing opinions that said be true to yourself, whatever that is. And it was nice. It was like we all bonded.

Then someone brought up the fact that they had watched a special on Barbara Walters' show over the weekend about transgendered youth and kids,etc etc. And everyone was talking about how interesting it was to learn about that and what a struggle it must be to go through something like that. And at that moment, I knew it was time. So, I told them that while we were on the topic that I had something to share with them. And I passed out copies of my magazine article to everyone and let them read. They were all so supportive. I could see them piecing the puzzle together as they got a brief introduction into my life and what the past year has been like for me.

One of my co-workers started crying and hugged me and thanked me for sharing my story. And she told me how its so important to her that there are people like me to share stories and to educate and how much she respected me for putting myself out there. It was very nice to hear. It was truly a blessing in fact.

My other co workers were very supportive also. They asked questions, they wanted to know if they should use male pronouns, if I was changing my name, etc etc.

I had one co worker though who told me I was like the pregnant man on Oprah and that the pregnant man wasn't really a man because he was born a woman. So, she was basically telling me she'd call me HE but always see me as a SHE because that is how I was born. I tried not to let it upset me. I hope to do some more research and educating on the issue with her because her reaction really did affect me. But I tried to stay in the moment and focus on the fact that the majority of my co-workers were really really great.

It made me super emotional. I told my supervisor I was scared I was going to have to quit my job or that I'd lose my job. She told me not to worry and also told me that of all places to work this is the place because everyone is so accepting and all about diversity. She also said she'd start calling me muchacho and amigo instead of muchacha and amiga. It was really sweet.

I cannot believe that it all just happened like that. But I'm thankful it did. And I also think it made my semi-gay co-worker feel better. I think he may be able to see me as a role model because I'm taking the bull by the horns and I've accepted myself for who I am. I think he's a great guy and I hope to become closer to him in the coming months.




6 comments:

Anonymous said...

you are killing me:(

Anonymous said...

Wow, what an excellent way for things to happen! I'm glad that it went so well for you. Also, your voice sounds really good when you are singing!

Randi said...

Jamilah:
Brit forwarded your blog to me. You look great, and I am thrilled that you are taking control, and doing what makes you happy. I have known you since you were 4 years old, and have always viewed you as loving, intelligent, precocious, funny, honest, talented individual. I love you, no matter what gender you are, but only want your happiness, and for you to feel totally comfortable and complete.
You are the best!
Love,
Randi

Barbara said...

Hey! Congrats on coming out at work.. I think that coming out of any closet is a scary thing. I'm out to my friends and family, but not at work. I think you are so brave. Following your own star in a very milky and dark sky. You rock!

Anonymous said...

Jamie, I've never heard you sing before. Beautiful. Thank-you.

Love,
Karla.

Anonymous said...

Way to go, I envy how good you must feel now that this weight has been lifted off your shoulders. I have one thing to remind you about as you go about your work life... You can not change everyone's mind on how to view your life change. It's not your job to make sure everyone is "ok with it". Let people come to terms with what you are doing on their own, in their own way. Don't worry about what other people think even if they never come to terms with it. Who the hell cares what they think anyway. You live for you! Life is too short to consider close minded people's personal opinions.
Best Wishes