So I went home to see my mother

I went home to see my mother. I was home from Wed to Sun. The trip wasn't as bad as I expected. My mom is in a pretty deep depression over the loss of her best friend and boyfriend, as I expected. She was warmer to me than usual, but still kind of off her rocker. We didn't talk about my transition at all because she just couldn't go there about any issue. She can hardly decide what she is wearing each day. So as much as I had anticipated a huge talk and laying out of the law, I see that this was not an opportune time. And maybe in some way it was a good thing. I think partly it was good for her to see that I"m still me. I'm still funny, outgoing, my personality hasn't changed. I've just started to change physically. And I think she was also able to see me finally be a lot more happy. I'm just more secure in who I am now that I'm facing all of this. I was pretty confident in who I was before, but having the body to match is an important part.

I got to spend a lot of time with my niece, Hannah, who is one, and my nephew, Jordan, who is 4. It was so great to see them because I am so crazy about them.
My nephew is very curious and into everything. And he's just a real character. He is confused on whether or not I'm a boy or a girl. He uses both pronouns which I think is cute. When my sister said Jamie was coming in, my nephew replied, "Why is she he coming in?"

He used to call me Auntie, but now we have him just using Jamie. He's been good about it.

But I think the cutest story of all is this. When I was getting into the shower, my curious nephew came wondering into the bathroom looking for me and when he saw me naked he said, "Jamie, how did you get boobs?" So I'm guessing he sees me more as a male. I didn't answer his question, I just smiled and sent him on his way.

I think what I love about children is that they aren't exposed to the prejudices and small minded ideas of society. My nephew loves me because I'm Jamie, not because I'm a boy or a girl. He loves the attention I give him, he loves to hang out with me and play, and that is what it should be about, always.

I also got to spend some quality time with my sister who is pretty awesome. She's my best friend who I can call at any time for anything. Really she is more like a mother to me in a lot of ways. She tries to pick up where my mom left off. She's very supportive of my transition, and I think she is able to start seeing the changes in me physically as well. I'm also lucky to have a brother in law who is supportive. He's a very relaxed, non judgmental straight guy, which I think is rare. He openly asks me how my shots are going and how I'm feeling. Just simple gestures like that make all the difference to me.

I got to see a lot of my close friends when I was home. And honestly, the nicest part about it was sharing my article with them, and having them not treat me any differently. They know I'm transitioning, and I'm also still the same old Jamie to them. It was very nice to feel so supported.

This trip also entailed coming out and telling of my story to people close to me in my life and I'm thankful to say that their responses were also good and supportive. People never cease to amaze me, and I'm glad that it was mostly good overall.

There are of course, always the disappointments. But I'm trying not to focus on those so much right now because they aren't going to get me anywhere.

Right now I'm very thankful to just be where I am. Finally happy I'm taking the journey I've longed to take for my whole life, and doing it with tons of support behind me. I feel very blessed and emotional about this. I'm very sensitive, but do I feel a touch of the hormones giving me a little edge. I think its just when you come from a place of having no support for so long, you are grateful for any that comes your way, and for once, I have a plethora, and its awesome.

Love you all.