The Break UP

I try not to have too many personal things up on my blog, but I don't know why when I think about it. The point of a blog, especially one like this, is to dive into the personal.

So, here goes.

Christine and I are sadly no longer together. I can't even point out what went wrong, we both just know now is not the right time, if ever. It's sad, and all those things a break up should be, but at the same time, I know I need to be alone right now. I need to figure myself out and see this transition through.

And of course, this all has to happen in the midst of my already dramatic life. I'm not sure what else could go wrong, but I hesitate in saying that because I don't want the universe to point anything else out to me.


I went out last night for my friend's birthday to Eleven in West Hollywood. It was a very interesting experience. People are starting to recognize me after reading my article in IN LA Magazine. It kind of caught me off guard, but it was nice to be noticed and nice to know that people are actually taking the time to read.

The other interesting part of my experience was that I was being noticed by both men and women. People really couldn't tell which gender I was. I thought it was funny, but at the same time, I felt a little put off. It started bringing up my own questions about how I'm going to meet women I want to date when I'm ready. I don't know how to approach lesbian women just yet and explain that I'm a transman. I feel like with other transguys you can just tell sometimes because of their "badboy" style with their tattoos, alternative clothing, I don't know, something about that has always given it away to me. But I don't dress that way in the least and it was obvious to me last night that a lot of lesbians thought I was some ignorant straight dude at a lesbian night. Kind of emotional to be dealing with that in addition to everything else on my mind yesterday.

I'm excited for LA Pride this weekend at least. I hope it will be a nice experience and will keep my mind off of the serious stuff. I'm volunteering on Saturday with Cheer LA for a few hours so I think that'll feel good as well.

I'm also flying home on Wed, June 11th for a long weekend. Should be interesting. If all goes wrong with my mother, I will at least get to see my niece and nephew, who I adore. I will also get some quality time with my sister, who is really more a like a parent to me anyhow.

So, with these things going on, I hope to remain distracted for as long as possible. Sometimes distraction can be a great aid to helping heal the heart.